The Bare Hands Series: Homemade Spicy and Sweet Beer Mustard

In her latest installment of The Bare Hands Series, our very own Heather Do wants you to open up your nostrils and take a whiff of some homemade mustard.

Do you need your sinuses to be cleared? Try making mustard. While the mustard is whizzing away in the food processor, stick your nose over the hole in the lid and take a gentle whiff. Spoiler Alert: Tears and regret will immediately commence, but once these visceral reactions fade, you’ll soon realize that your sinuses have vanished into thin air. Your faith in your nose’s ability to function and to function well will be restored. Or if you’re a member of the skittish and paranoid crew, then you might fear that your nasal vessels have just been physically assaulted.

1 cup yellow or brown mustard seeds
2/3 cup red wine vinegar or apple cider vinegar
1 cup beer (stout or pale ale)
3 tbs honey (or more)
1 tbs salt
1 tsp freshly cracked black pepper
1/4 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp cardamom

1.  Dump everything into a resealable jar. Mix.
2.  Tightly seal mustard containing vessel.
3.  Let sit for 1-2 days at room temperature.
4.  Transfer mixture to a robo coupe or food processor. Process for 15 minutes. Occasionally scrap down the sides.
5.  Put into a resealable jar. Stick it in the fridge. Enjoy.

Yield: 2 cups

Notes: I used brown mustard seeds and chocolate stout. This experiment resulted in a very, very spicy whole grain mustard.

Cutting the mustard,

All photography courtesy of the author.

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